Physical recovery
These are the steps that got my physiological state ready before I could deal with the root cause.
The starting point: December 2023
I was fucked. High stress, extremely tired, poor health, low fitness, high weight, not able to think straight. In a pit of despair.
I was on auto-pilot, existing but not living. I felt I was a butler, a servant, to my family, not part of them, more an outsider looking in. I don't feel that way now, but that is how it was in my burnout.
I recall sitting on the bed, struggling to do my pants up when I made a decision to weigh myself then and there and see how bad it was and to accept it.
- Weight: 99.8kg (goal: 80kg)
- Body fat: 30.5%
- BMI: 30.5 (goal: under 25)
This was my starting point. I set two immediate goals: weigh 80kg and get my BMI to under 25.
I immediately went to the shops with no delay. I needed to find replacement foods for my habits of chocolate, biscuits and ice cream, the triple combo. I chose nuts, protein cookies and no-sugar chocolate bars. I portioned the nuts into a small box to take to work along with one protein cookie and 4 squares of the fake chocolate bar. It worked, and I established a new routine for food.
Building the routine
Running
I focused on the weight and started running again, building up duration. My local parkrun was great for that, every Saturday morning I had to be there for the 8am start and run 5km. It really helped me establish a routine so that it became automatic.
To help with building the habit I would get all my running clothes out the night before and put them next to my bed. Remove every barrier.
Weighing
I weighed myself every Sunday morning when I woke up, before doing anything else, in the same place and on the same scales.
My weight didn't change for the first 2 weeks. In fact it went up a bit, but I continued. That was just my body adapting to the changes. Then it started coming off consistently.
Food
I started a subscription with Muscle Chef and had the food delivered. I didn't have the energy at the time to do proper food preparation like I do today.
I stopped eating lunch and instead walked or ran around Kings Park every weekday.
Connecting with my environment
When I was walking I stopped thinking about it as exercise and just enjoyed the sights, sounds and smells. I listened to inspirational stories through the Apple Health Time to Walk series. For running I started with Apple's Time to Run series and then moved back to Nike's guided runs. Some of them moved me to tears.
I was connecting with my environment for the first time, and looked forward to it every day. Instead of something I had to do, I wanted to do it.
Life changes
Some of the work I was doing didn't align with my values so I quit, and learnt to say no.
I took all of my long service leave in a continuous block of 7 weeks. I was always holding on to the belief that I needed it as a backup fund in case of redundancy. However, with tax implications that would have been worth far less in monetary terms anyway, plus you still accrue leave and super while on long service leave. But it was much more valuable than I could ever have known.
Taking that time off from work, with zero contact or thought about work during it, gave me space for the first time in my life to focus on me, my needs, what drives me, what is good and what is toxic.
Support
Having a great coach was also important to uncover things that were there but I couldn't see. Thanks Neville.
Timeline
These steps didn't just happen instantly. They took time, from December to May. Six months.
| Month | Focus |
|---|---|
| December 2023 | Decision to change, started gym |
| January 2024 | Running routine established |
| February 2024 | Parkrun every Saturday |
| March 2024 | Weight coming off consistently |
| April 2024 | Took long service leave |
| May 2024 | Physiological state green |
By May 2024 I had lost 20kg, reversed Type 2 Diabetes, and had my weight and physical health all green and on target.
What came next
But I hadn't dealt with the root cause of my burnout yet. The six months were getting my physiological state ready, because if I didn't deal with it fully then history would repeat itself again.
That was easy in comparison to the journey my mental health was about to take.